My Life Felt Like a Prison

I just finished a tract that tells all about how I came to find Jesus.  Since not all of you know who I am and where I come from, I figured I’d post it here for you to enjoy.  My story is below:

I always kind of believed in God—I was baptized as a baby, I grew up going to church, my family even prayed before meals—but I lived my life as if God was no more real than a fairy tale. Over time, I began to call myself an atheist.

I was 12 when I first found porn online, but things really went bad when I was 15. That was when I decided to stop feeling guilty about porn, to stop calling it sin, and to simply accept it as human nature. That was one of the dumbest decisions I ever made.

While struggling with a growing porn addiction, I also began to experience heavy depression. I remember lying awake many nights seeing no hope for the future and wishing I would die. I saw no reason to go on living.

By the time I began college, I felt like a prisoner in my own life. I wanted freedom, a second chance. I had no clue that the new life I wanted would soon come to me in Jesus.

Somehow, my friend Rob convinced me to go to church with him. There, the pastor spoke about the ability of Jesus to deliver people from sickness, from demonic oppression, and (most importantly) from sin. The only thing he required was surrender.

It was exactly what I needed, everything I wanted, too. But I was definitely not interested in surrendering to this God I didn’t even believe in.

One night, I sat at my desk and wrote down all the reasons for why I did not have to surrender my life to God, why he wasn’t real and why Jesus was simply a dead historical figure.

When I finished all my arguments, though, one nagging question hung on: “What if I was wrong?”

My eternal destination was at stake here. I knew I could never reject God unless I knew that he was not real. Guessing, hoping, or believing would not be good enough. I had to know it. And, honestly, I didn’t know it.

That night, I decided to stop running from God. I didn’t do it because I had all the answers. I didn’t do it because I felt ready, either. I did it because I was just plain tired of running.

Since that night, God has taken away all the depression and set me free from pornography. Before, I could see no reason to live; now, I feel so fulfilled and happy to be alive. Before, I felt hopelessly trapped in sin; now, I have real freedom and hope. I am so glad to know Jesus, and I never want to go back to the way I once was.

If you need to get things right with God, it’s easy. You can simply do what I did: tell God that you give up, that you’re ready to quit running from him.

1. Admit your wrong actions are rebellion against God, and choose to live differently.

2. Accept the forgiveness Jesus purchased for you on the cross. He paid your debt!

3. Choose each day to follow Jesus and obey him.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
John 10:10

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