In a lot of ways, this post is about one of the biggest struggles I have here in Romania.
Living in a city of two million and in a country whose language and culture I barely understand, far from most friends and family and away from the people who have held me accountable for years, I often feel invisible. I could probably go the whole day and not run into a single familiar face or have a single person say “Bună ziua, hello” or “Cum eşti? How are you?” It’s embarrassing, but I’ve often had to stop myself from taking care of… errr, well… nasal maintenance in public. I just sometimes forget that people really do notice I’m here.
I’m tempted to think I’m invisible, unnoticed.
There’s a deeper truth here than just remembering not to embarrass yourself in public.
You see, when you start to feel like people don’t notice what you’re doing (good or bad), pretty soon you start to feel like God also doesn’t notice you. I think many are tempted to live this way, as if God really doesn’t notice what they’re doing or thinking.
Mike Bickle once said something that has stuck with me: “The fear of God is seeing always that God always sees me.”
This is how I want to live, with a recognition that God–the holy and perfect and totally righteous judge–always sees me. When I know he sees me, and not just my actions but also my thoughts and my desires, then I live differently than when I don’t know he sees me.
2 Chronicles 16:9 – “For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His…”
Psalm 96:4-5 – “For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised; he is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord made the heavens.”
Proverbs 9:10 – “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”
Luke 12:4-5 – “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him.”
For better or worse, God notices us–our every action, thought, word, desire. May this reality always be clear to us and guide us into righteousness.