I remember one time beginning preaching open-air by shouting out, “There are two things that will happen to everyone. Number one, you are going to be pooped on by a bird. Number two, you are going to die.” I don’t know how effective it was in drawing people to hear the gospel, but it always made me snicker. (Seriously, who doesn’t enjoy yelling the word “poop” in public?)
While I don’t condone using birds or their digestive systems as a form of entertainment, probably the funniest video I ever saw involved bird poop. Picture it, a group of teenagers are gathered at the beach pouring bags of potato chips onto a tray. One teen looks at the camera, smiles, holds up a package, and almost sings, “Laxatives.” They cover the chips liberally with the magic sprinkles. Hardly able to contain their excited giggling, the teens carry the tray to a populated area of the beach, set it down, and then ran for cover. Within seconds, seagulls descend upon the glorious treasure, gorging themselves on delicacies normally jealously guarded from them… And then the white rain begins to fall… It’s hilarious. Completely disrespectful and rude and should never ever be repeated but outrageously funny. (You can watch it here if you want a good laugh.)
So, bird poop.
Jesus tells a story about bird poop in Matthew 13:3-9. Okay, so really it’s a story about seeds and soils, but there are birds in the story, and every bird poops. Anyhow, he tells how a man is scattering seeds all over the place; some of them land on amazing soil and bring a harvest, others fall on rocky or thorny soil and don’t really grow so well, and the last of it lands on the path. The path is the worst place because the seeds don’t even start growing at all; the birds come along and eat them all.
“Behold, the sower went out to sow; and as he sowed, some seeds fell beside the road, and the birds came and ate them up.” (Matthew 13:3-4)